Engrish to Become Second Official Language of Japan


TOKYO, Japan – The National Diet of Japan, announced earlier today the decision to instate Engrish as an official language in Japan, effectively giving the country official bilingual status.

With its steadily growing popularity and usage in East Asia, the Engrish language has a rich history in Japan dating back to approximately 1980 AD, predating the Google Translate era. Its use can be seen on clothing and signage across the country, as well as in media forms such as anime, manga, and video games.

“Personally, I am very pleased with this change,” stated Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. “Many Japanese citizens have been criticized for their pronunciation of the English language. What many people fail to realize is that we’ve been speaking a different language entirely.”

The most recent Japanese census indicates that 1 in 4 anime characters speak fluent Engrish, and 1 in 3 anime openings contain Engrish lyrics. Contrary to popular belief, it is unthinkable for anime studios to so commonly feature the butchery of another language in its professional productions; despite the fact that English is one of the most widespread languages in the world, it is rarely found in anime.

Before today, many English speakers have continued to mistake spoken and written forms of this language for their own. This includes the insistence of speech patterns being a result of a “lack of understanding,” or an “accent,” much to the disdain of Engrish speakers.

While Engrish does share some similarities with English, there are distinct differences between the two languages. For example, the Engrish alphabet contains 25 letters, and Engrish words can be used interchangeably with Japanese words at random points in the middle of sentences while remaining grammatically correct. Many words are spelled or pronounced similarly in both English and Engrish, but Engrish is clearly its own separate entity.

Japan has not been the first country to pursue further multilingualism in recent years. The Federal Government of Canada recently considered making sign language an official language, claiming not to have been influenced in any way by watching Koe no Katachi.

Meanwhile, native Wapanese speakers in America have received no such legislation, and are collectively advised to start speaking normal English immediately.

About the author

Vextrr has circumnavigated the globe on several occasions, and has trekked across the most barren of deserts, scaled the most daunting of mountains, sailed the most unforgiving of seas, traversed the darkest of depths of the internet, and has confirmed that his waifu, in fact, does not exist. Likely destined to still remain in denial for the rest of his life, he now spends his days watching anime and writing for Anime Maru.