NEW YORK, NY – The world premiere of the first trailer for the upcoming anime Sailor Moon Crystal has left anime fans around the world furious, but none of them could explain exactly why.
“I mean, just look at Usagi’s design compared to the old one,” said Tom Jenkins, an anime fan from Parsippany, NJ, “it’s just so… so… I mean it kinda looks similar, and closer to what Shoujo designs usually look like but… but… God dammit I’m so mad!” At this point Mr. Jenkins became too upset to continue the interview.
Emotions ran similarly high on social media and message boards, with walls of text in all caps gracing most digital anime gathering places. However, despite an exhaustive search, a team of Anime Maru researchers was unable to find a single reason why fans disliked the trailer. All they found were many stated facts comparing the old and new designs, commenting that supposedly the plot would follow the manga more closely, that a few new voice actors joined some of the veterans from the original anime, etc. Despite all this, until the publication of this article, Anime Maru has not yet been able to conclusively identify what the fuck everyone is complaining about.
Stay tuned for updates as this story develops.