Food Left on Counter Since 2015 Ages Almost as Badly as ‘Food Wars!’

BUFORD, GA — A lone bowl of what was once instant ramen sits forgotten on a kitchen counter.  Cobwebs anchor it down but do nothing to contain the smell of mold and neglect.  Four and a half years ago its creator watched an early episode of Shokugeki no Souma (Food Wars!) and — inspired by the quality of both the food and the show itself — decided to try cooking something for once. As the dish cooled he was distracted by the other thing Food Wars! inspires people to do, and his culinary creation was forgotten.  For four years the ramen spoiled and decayed, finally becoming nearly as stale as the show that inspired it.

Much like Food Wars!, the ramen was once quite well-made. But as time went on the noodles became almost as bland as the dozens of supporting characters that were once relevant to the plot. The putrid crust that covers it grew nearly as thick as Soma’s plot armor, and the bacteria within have begun to evolve and fight for supremacy like a poison jar. While it may seem that the stakes are being constantly raised, it remains largely irrelevant — the chances of anyone eating the ramen at this point are about the same as the chance of anyone actually getting expelled from that cooking school.

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Starprophet is a few hundred meerkats in the shape of a man, held together by rage and one very charismatic squirrel.