Grave Robbing Rates Skyrocket Following Popularity of ‘Zombieland Saga’

The Japanese local police have reported this week an alarming spike of recorded crimes against corpses over the last month and a half, which many are chalking up to the rampant popularity of the recently aired Zombieland Saga.

Local police stations and court rooms across the country have become overloaded due to the sudden crime wave, with resources being stretched thin and staff almost at their breaking point. Tetsuya Shitai, chief inspector for Kyushu’s post mortem crime division, noted he hadn’t seen anything like this in all of his over 30 year long career.

“We do very important work here,” Chief Shitai explained. “But I’d be lying if I said we’d ever been run off our feet like this before. We usually deal with financial issues or when bodies disappear due to natural causes, out at sea, in national parks and the like, but I’ve honestly never thought I’d experience anything close the amounts of degeneracy I’ve personally seen over the last few weeks,” he explained taking a moment to pray to a god that had long since abandoned him.

In response to the increased crime, the criminal justice department have created a new subdivision of felonies targeting subsets of crimes against the dead, including body snatching, intent to idol and deprivation of liberty, otaku corpse objectification, and public performance of the undead without a license.

“It’s almost like clockwork at this point,” stated Captain Yamamoto Soushiki of Saga prefecture. “We get a call from a friend or neighbor, they’ve been hearing strange sounds or odd smells coming from the reclusive otaku’s house over the last couple of nights and are concerned the individual might be injured, or in need of help. Knock on the door, no answer, barge in and boom! Two to six corpses, school girl outfits, thigh highs, shimapan, the whole 9 yards. I’m honestly worried how numb I am to it at this point,” recounted the captain, taking a deep drink from a nearby Suntory whiskey bottle.

Despite the worrying trend of abhorrent trends being carried out, some individuals have welcome the growing popularity of engaging with people that have passed on, with Japan’s Mortician Alliance having recorded their highest application numbers in 2 decades.

“We for one welcome the positive influence Zombieland Saga is having on the community and are glad to see a renewed public interest in ‘post-life’ occupations. We are hoping to get back to the healthy active member count that we enjoyed prior to the zombie hysteria movement of the late 90’s and early 2000’s,” a per-prepared statement by the association read. “Just because we deal with corpses on a day to day basis doesn’t make us some kind of weird fetish perverts, it’s the veterinarians you should really be worried about.”

About the author

Due to anime currently being classed as a schedule 8 narcotic, Heatfist currently writes for Anime Maru through a series hastily cobbled together VB tins and harmless upper middle class racism, broadcasting from a hidden bunker, located deep in the Australian outback. Communicates solely through sardonicism and second hand banter stolen from early 2000’s AMV’s.