Guy in Back of Class Won’t Stop Inexplicably Shouting Things

A male student at a high school in the Sacramento area has been inexplicably shouting random statements from his seat in the back of the classroom, area sources say. 16 year old Colin Turnvalt has been described by his peers as an average high school student with no outstanding features except for his tendency to randomly interrupt class by yelling about something with no discernible context.

Local students claim the disturbance has been going on for the past three weeks. No one was able to identify an exact reason for Turnvalt’s outbursts, although due to their sporadic nature many were lead to believe that he may be mistakenly externalizing some of his internal thoughts.

“He comes into class, barely does any work, and just seems to be lost in thought most of the time,” classmate Christine Winkel told our correspondent. “Then all of a sudden he’ll just stand up and shout something like ‘No! That’s not it!’ or ‘Gah! What am I going to do?!’ before sitting back down again. Something’s seriously wrong with that guy.”

Other accounts stated that Turnvalt will sometimes sleep during class only to suddenly awake in a screaming panic. When asked if something is wrong, Turnvalt is often said to unconvincingly claim “it’s nothing” before returning to staring out the window.

“He’s really getting annoying,” stated instructor Mark Wilson. “Every time he starts shouting, the whole class turns around to see what Colin is yelling about this time. I came here to teach, I don’t have time to get interrupted by schizophrenic daytime flashbacks.”

The high school instructor attempted to put an end to Turnvalt’s outbursts by mixing up the seating arrangements, but to his dismay Turnvalt was somehow not only able to retain his seat in the back of the classroom but also have two of his friends reassigned to seats adjacent to him. The situation reportedly only worsened thereafter.

“I just can’t win,” Wilson added in exasperation. “Maybe I should go back to teaching middle school. At least there the worst I get are kids that pretend they have hidden powers of darkness.”

About the author

Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.