Self-proclaimed Haruhi-ist Timothy Banks awoke this week from a coma he had been in since May 1st, 2007, when he dropped his Haruhi cell-phone strap in the road and was hit by a speeding truck as he tried to pick it up. Now that Timothy is awake, he is eager to see how the Haruhi Suzumiya franchise has panned out in his absence.
“I’m really excited to see how season 2 of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya turned out. The rumor was that they were planning to base the season on The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, which is a great idea since that’s a fairly long story and would take about eight episodes to adapt fully. I imagine the rest of the season would mostly be devoted to adapting The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya, maybe with a couple of single episodes devoted to some of the shorter stories like Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody or Endless Eight. Really, those four stories would probably work really well as a single season.”
Still, what Timothy is really looking forward to is inevitable third season of Haruhi Suzumiya. “I read all of the later novels as soon as they came out, and there’s some really great stories in them. The novels introduce a bunch of great new characters that I’m sure are even better in their anime versions. The 9th novel in particular ends on a really great cliffhanger I couldn’t wait to see the conclusion of. Granted, I suppose I’ll have waited longer to see the resolution than most people, after all, Nagaru Tanigawa writes about a novel a year, so I’m sure we’re pretty deep into the story now. The characters might even be in college, assuming he hasn’t already wrapped up all the loose ends.”
When Timothy was informed that a spin-off anime based on the Disappearance universe was airing this season, he met the news with excitement. “Wow, I guess that means Tanigawa already wrapped up the series, if he has time to write spin-offs. Still, any pairing of Tanigawa’s writing with Kyoto Animation’s beautiful art should be pretty great.”
“Mostly though, I’m glad to hear that Haruhi’s still as popular as she ever was. Truthfully I was a little afraid the show’s influence might fade over time as similar light novels flooded the market and drowned out everything that made the series special. I’m glad that time has proven me wrong!”
Successful satire
Poor soul.
Oh sweet summer child.
I kind of want to see a follow up to this…..see this man’s dreams crushed.
This legitimately makes me sad.
So What HAPPENS NEXT……..
The man was never heard from again. Experts are saying it’s possible the shock made him forget everything about the world and himself and he now quietly and timidly reads books in some unknown location, waiting for somebody to come around and make the world “right” again.
Thats the Endless Eight.
lol Japanese people have been posting this all over Twitter and apparently no one understood it was meant to be satire. someone had to go to your About page to figure it out
links plox
Yes, sauce please.
Trigger trolled the whole industry
lol wrong article
what that.
Why was I linked this by a Japanese person?
I think I just died a little inside, I mean I know it’s satire, but damn