As 2018 enters its last quarter, Kadokawa is once again busy preparing an elaborate let-down for all the fans of the Haruhi Suzumiya franchise. Observers around the world are eagerly anticipating the sadistic methods the company will employ to deliver precise despair to fans. Previous major Haruhi-related pranks include the 2015 announcement of spin-off anime The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan, which absolutely no one wanted; and the infamous 2014 “Haruhi hunting” that culminated in a pachinko machine. Coupled with the official Haruhi internet streams that never lead to anything, Kadokawa ensures that the franchise is in a constant state of morbid dread.
In order to honor the long-standing tradition, this year Kadokawa is going all out with a special event that even features some of the old anime staff: voice actors Aya Hirano, Minori Chihara, and Yuko Goto will be featured in the event as guest speakers. This impressive line-up will most likely be used to awaken some long-lost hope in the hearts of people, only to crush it once again.
“Kadokawa just keeps delivering. The event hasn’t even happened yet and I am already so disappointed I feel like crying,” an anonymous fan told Anime Maru. “We’re probably facing the biggest Haruhi-related event in years, and I have no doubts the company will use this change to announce the Haruhi-gacha we all know is coming at some point.”
At press time predictions vary from Satelight produced Yuki-chan season two to simply nothing at all, but until the actual event all will remain as unwholesome speculation. Kadokawa has been tight-lipped about the upcoming disappointment, but reportedly barely audible malicious snickering and whispers “just let it go, nerds” have been heard to leak from the office windows.