Hatsune Miku Contracts Deadly Computer Virus

Staff within Crypton Future Media have confirmed that virtual pop star Hatsune Miku has gone into quarantine after contracting a computer virus earlier this week.

The infection was first noticed during a performance rehearsal when Miku suddenly stopped responding, freezing on set for several minutes. When the pop star came to, staff report that she began ignoring requests and demanding that a Bitcoin payment be made to a shady account before she would continue.

Having lent her voice to thousands of project all across the world, it is unknown exactly where the virus originated from. However, with the poor English and overall rude tone used in messages displayed by the virus, it is believed to have most likely been developed by a k-pop fan.

“We have her disconnected from the network to prevent the potential spread to the other Vocaloid units,” Crytpon manager Fujihara Jiro told Anime Maru. “Currently we’re running a Malwarebytes scan on her system drive. We all remain hopeful that Miku will be able to return to performing very soon.”

If the virus is unable to be removed, technicians have indicated that restoring from a previous backup would be the only option. However, due to IT budget cuts, Crypton has stated that a full backup has not been performed since 2017. If restoring the backup does become necessary, Miku would not be able to remember any of her songs from the past 3 years.

“I guess we’ll just re-release all the older stuff again if that happens,” stated Crypton president Hiroyuki Itō. “It’s all most people actually listen to anyway.”

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Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.