“Isekai Convoy” Protests Right to Run People Over in Their Trucks

OTTAWA, Canada – A gathering of thousands of truck drivers, calling themselves the “Isekai Convoy”, has gathered in the capital city of Ottawa intending to protest legislation that prevents them from running down people in their vehicles and sending them to another world. Organizers of the event claim that regulatory bans against running people over directly threaten individual freedom of expression and have gone too far in the name of safety.

“This isn’t about safety anyone, this is about unjust limits that are suppressing our liberty,” Aaron Merrill, one of the organizers, told Anime Maru. “Telling us who and what we can’t run over is a clear violation of our rights. It should be up to each individual driver to determine whether a pedestrian deserves to get crushed by a truck or not.”

Lines of trucks started pouring into the city by mid-afternoon where they soon began blocking roads and swerving onto sidewalks. Many of the vehicles could be seen displaying signs with slogans such as “Isekai Trudeau” and “My Semi My Choice”.

Many of those participating in the convoy said they were there to express their frustrations over ever increasing restrictions enacted to promote public safety such as having to stop at red lights, speed limits, and being locked down to only driving on one side of the road. The regulations, protesters say, have made it increasingly difficult to catch pedestrians off guard and plow into them.

Local residents have largely responded negatively to the convoy. Numerous complaints have been reported of the trucks making it difficult to get to work or school as well as widespread reports of disruptions to emergency services.

Despite the relatively poor reception, many among the protesters claimed that they were actually doing people a service, considering the potential benefits of being sent to another world probably far more fantastical than our own.

“If anything, people should be thanking us,” said Patrick Simard, a 38 year old truck driver who lost his job after running over a high school student and an office intern both in the same week. “I hear the kind of worlds you can be reincarnated in are pretty incredible nowadays. Magical kingdoms, virtual utopias, monster girls, super powers, and even hot moms. Honestly their chances are probably way better than here on Earth anyways.”

Law enforcement has not yet indicated whether they would be responding to the convoy. For the time being, local officials have advised avoiding crosswalks if you are a student, a young adult stuck in a dead-end job, or generally have a bland personality with little to no future prospects.

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Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.