NAGATACHO, TOKYO — The National Diet has appointed its first middle school-aged Prime Minister, 13-year-old Itou Nanami.
“We’re very excited about this,” said Kitagawa Issei, one of the representatives of Osaka prefecture in the House of Councillors. “We believe Nanami-chan will help usher in a glorious future for our nation.”
Nanami attends Kojimachi Junior High School when she is not busy leading the executive branch of government. She had been a member of the Diet for a year before starting middle school and was appointed to the cabinet’s top position two days ago.
“She’s a great choice for prime minister due to her wealth of legislative experience,” said Deputy Prime Minister Aso Taro. “She was president of the student council in elementary school and middle school before she resigned to take her current position. She was her class representative and often volunteered for cleaning duty. And keep this under your hat, but to me she looks sort of like Magical Witch Dojikko-chan, the cute little girl who has saved our constituents more than a few times lately!”
Magical Witch Dojikko-chan is a young vigilante who has appeared recently to fix various problems in local neighborhoods. It is rumored that this magical young lady is Nanami in disguise, but these rumors have yet to be verified.
Nanami agreed to be interviewed for this report, but when the subject of Magical Witch Dojikko-chan was broached, she turned bright red, covered her face and ran out of the room yelping.
“I-I-I don’t know who this Magical Witch Dojiko-chan is!” Nanami said in a written statement. “And if I-I d-did, she certainly wouldn’t look anything like me with a mask on! Please excuse me, I must lead our nation back to its rightful position as a global power!”