Japanese Government Grants ‘Fate/Grand Order’ Developers Right to Print Money

TOKYO, Japan — The Japanese Ministry of Finance announced earlier this week that Delightworks, the developer of the popular mobile fantasy role-playing game Fate/Grand Order, will be allowed to print and issue currency.

“We believe this is a wise decision because Delightworks already has a great amount of experience with making pictures worth money for reasons difficult to explain,” Minister of Finance Asou Tarou told the media on Wednesday. The mobile game developer will aid the Bank of Japan in the implementation of the government’s monetary policy, and issue its own line of Japanese yen banknotes.

Experts have long noted the massive influence Fate/Grand Order has on the Japanese economy — according to a report by the International Monetary Fund published last month, 65% of Japan’s gross domestic product exists in the form of Saint Quartz.

When asked if the decision marked a reversal of the existing policy of devaluing the yen and a shift towards a new policy of periodically creating artificial demand by preying on the impulsive nature of humans, Asou responded that he had no comment and resumed doing a 10-roll on his cell phone.

Due to an ongoing in-game event, governments worldwide have begun purchasing Japanese yen en masse, hoping to summon their waifu. As of press time, the yen has reached an all-time record of 71 yen to the dollar. While the sudden changes could lead to unpredictable market fluctuations, observers agree that the one percent chance of rolling a 5-star servant is still a more reliable investment than cryptocurrencies.

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Editor-in-Chief, CEO, and Fearless Leader of Anime Maru. He was trained by the North Korean People's Institute of Journalism and Media. kevo follows voice actresses on Twitter and pretends to understand their Japanese tweets. Twitter: @kevo31415