TOWSON, MD — Local otaku Roger Johnson has reportedly been implementing what he has learned from Kaguya-sama: Love is War in his own love life by staying 3 steps ahead of his crush Rachel Wilson. Johnson has determined that the best method to get 3 steps ahead of his crush in the war of love is to never talk or even look at her.
“Battles of the heart are lost by taking foolish action,” stated Johnson. “To avoid making any such mistakes, I will not interact with Rachel at all, leaving it to her to make the mistake that leads to my victory!”
Fellow colleagues of Johnson’s anime club expressed their concerns in the viability of the plan. Some stated their admiration for Johnson’s determination but had doubts as to how well it would actually work out.
“When Roger thinks something he sees in an anime is a good idea he applies it to everything he does,” club member Larry Vincent revealed. “I remember when he first heard of Endless Eight. He not only watched all the episodes but then tried to have our anime club meetings be exactly the same for eight straight meeting. He’s got real determination, but that guy really doesn’t know his limits.”
Despite not being asked, Johnson continued to share with our correspondent how he sees his war with Wilson playing out to his ultimate victory.
“As the vice president of the anime club, my position comes with inherent power and appeal. With enough time she has to be drawn to me even if I make sure to never be in her field of vision or even in the same place as her at any point,” Johnson detailed.
“Of course, this strategy means I am unable to attend one of my classes at all and will likely fail, but victory here is more important than mere academic success.”
Wilson was reached out to for comment but declined, expressing that she had never heard of this whole “anime” thing, finding a way to keep 3 steps ahead of our staff in the process.