PYONGYANG, North Korea – North Korean leader Kim Jong-un made his first public appearance today at the nation’s capital since his sudden disappearance weeks ago.
Last reported being seen on April 11th, Kim Jong-un has strangely been absent from major political events including the birthday of his late grandfather and founder of the modern North Korea regime. Rumors quickly spread that the leader was possibly in poor health, recovering from a recent medical operation.
State media denied that Kim Jong-un had been having health issues, declaring that the leader had instead been absent due to suddenly and spontaneously being transported to another world. In this alternate world, officials stated that the Supreme Leader gathered a large harem, greater than any other hero before him, and had worked valiantly to unite the workers of the fantastical land under a new glorious People’s Republic.
North Korean officials also made other claims including that Kim Jong-un had single-handedly defeated the evil imperialist demon lord of the west and had managed to garner the respect of the realm’s goddess, who also later joined the Supreme Leader’s harem.
Outside sources criticized the claims, stating that it would be highly unlikely that the North Korean leader would have been able to perform so well on his own. Many also questioned why Kim Jong-un’s little sister was not involved if he was supposedly accumulating such a large harem. Initial foreign reports show that Kim Jong-un had much more likely served as the somewhat-overweight comic relief character who would stumble into situations at inopportune moments.
North Korea denied the critical claims, further emphasizing that Kim Jong-un was definitely main character material and had performed admirably in all regards.
A full report of the leader’s deeds is currently planned for an upcoming novel, In Another World Under His Supreme Leader’s Guidance, which will be distributed in multiple volumes among North Korea’s citizens.