Konami Promotes Pachinko Machine to Chief of Operations

Video game company Konami announced this week that a Silent Hill pachinko machine will be taking on the role of Chief of Operations. The new management decision coincides with the company’s aim to begin targeting more growing segments within the industry. Konami hopes the new leadership will move the company forward after it has lost key staff members over the last several years.

“Our new Chief of Operations represents the future of gaming here at Konami,” commented Konami CEO Hideki Hayakawa. “We are excited to see what great new releases we can bring to market. By focusing more on mobile and pachinko products, we can finally provide more of what gamers have been asking for more of for years.”

At a recent press event for the announcement, Konami showed off several different concepts which it hopes to explore in 2019 including a pachinko machine using mobile phones as its main display, a digital pachinko mobile game that links to your banking app, and a gacha game featuring anthropomorphized pachinko machines.

“Hit the lever!,” the new Chief of Operations stated when asked about the future of the Metal Gear franchise.

Investors praised Konami for the move, calling it the most sensible decision it has made in years. Although not all were pleased with the announcement, with some fans denouncing the new decision.

“I can’t believe how much of a soulless money-grubbing trend follower Konami has become lately,” long time gamer Gary Mauwer told Anime Maru. “I’m not involving myself with anything Konami ever again.”

The Chief of Operations flashed lights in rapid succession and displayed some large digits on screen before being wheeled off stage. In its closing remarks, Konami reminded everyone to check out their new idol mobile game. Mauwer was later seen intently tapping on his phone, presumably telling people how he wasn’t going to be playing Konami games anymore.

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Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.