Kurisu Makise Leads Initial Ballot Count in Minnesota Congressional Race

In a shocking upset, preliminary ballot counts from Minnesota’s hotly contested 1st congressional district show write-in candidate Kurisu Makise leading by a small margin. With incumbent Tim Walz (D) not seeking re-election this term, the district has been left to a heated race between candidates Dan Feeham (D) and Jim Hagedorn (R). Despite the close race, most Minnesota residents decided to forgo either option opting instead to write in Kurisu Makise as their preferred pick for congressional representative.

“I’m just tired of extremely polarized politics that don’t get us anywhere,” stated Fillmore County resident Johnathon Revell. “Millions of dollars get spent each year for these elections with rarely anything getting done once someone actually takes office. Makise has shown to be able to get results even without access to a significant lab budget. We need that kind of efficiency in office.”

Makise has been able to pull ahead in public opinion over the past month with a platform focusing on scientific advancement, anti-corporate control policies, and a stylish combination of shorts over black tights. Makise’s unusual campaign slogan of “It’s not like I really need your vote or anything…” had opponents doubting her performance in the general election. As opponents heated up attack ads against one another Makise was able to gain a substantial following throughout October.

“Well of course Kurisu is the best,” Rochester voter and heavy breathing individual Adam Franser told our correspondent. “The other candidates aren’t cute at all. I don’t find any of their tropes to be endearing in the slightest. I personally can’t think of a better face to represent our state.”

Official results for the district have yet to be finalized. As of press time, current ballot counts have Makise leading by 2 percent. If Makise is able to maintain the lead, it would mark the first time in history that Minnesota’s 1st congressional district would have a female representative. However, uncertainty has arisen concerning the results as an increasing number of write-in votes have continued to come in for “Christina” which don’t officially count for the official running name of Kurisu.

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Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.