Legendary Hero Transported to Horrible Reality Full of Police Brutality and Incurable Disease

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Legendary hero Edward Higurashi has found himself transported to another world, according to local media reports. This hellish new reality reportedly has high income inequality, police that brutalize the population, and a pandemic ravaging the citizenry.

“I’ve killed more dragons than I can count but this reality makes me feel helpless and depressed,” said Higurashi. “I’m not sure how my flaming sword can solve abstract and complex problems like systemic racism and global pandemics. Where I come from, if you walk around long enough you can just find free chests with gold or curative items in them.”

“I’ve been Edward’s squire for multiple adventures and I’m really worried about him,” said Rose Baraja. “The existential issues of living in a corrupt world are bad and all, but in this world his hair is off-model every day and the one set of clothing he wears is really starting to stink.”

People of the world had their own thoughts on the appearance of the legendary hero.

“I just had to take a snap with a cool looking cosplayer like that,” said protester Jordan Rock. “His lack of a facemask did bother me though, gold helmet ain’t gonna protect you from COVID-19 or tear gas.”

Since press time, Anime Maru has been informed that Higurashi has found a portal back to his own world but did leave one last message.

“Thankfully I can go back to my own reality away from this terrifying place. For those of this world, I advise you to get yourself stocked up, level up your skills and knowledge, get your strongest party together, and go out there and defeat your bosses and minibosses, whether they be people, oppressive systems, or diseases.”

About the author

G. Smith has seen the opening to the Toei Kanon series more recently and more often than you. His retirement savings is entirely invested in anime dvds, anime cels, and anime statues he stores in the basement. His Uno game could be better. He is on Twitter @gricomet