KanColle ~Conspiracy Collection~
SIR― I am disappointed that you have chosen to report the oft-repeated but little-examined view that North Korea is behind the Kancolle attacks. As an experienced DRPK watcher with more than 15 years’ experience, I assure you that North Korea is not behind this attack. First, the language of the attackers is far too mild. I do not see any references to seas of fire, imminent destruction, or imperialist aggression, trademarks of North Korean rhetoric. Second, North Korea loves nothing more than the intersection of militarism and moe. I can assure you they plan to pirate every episode of Kancolle and re-shape their own messaging vis-à-vis the armed forces. That is, if they can get their Internet back by then.
SIR― How naive can you be? These so-called ‘Guardians of Peace’ are nothing more than DMM.com’s employees masquerading as terrorists. After the Girl Friend Beta fiasco, they don’t want to follow in Ameba’s footsteps and ruin a franchise with a terrible anime. Kancolle didn’t scam enough money from players for DMM and Kadokawa to hire a real animation studio, so they’re stuck with Diomedea. Now they’re panicking and drumming up controversy so more people will watch their garbage.
SIR― Given the immense popularity of Kancolle and the expertise of our staff, I fully expect the anime to blow all competitors out of the water. Fans of Strike Witches are quaking in their plane-propeller-legs right now. I bet it was one of them that tried to protect their precious little franchise by threatening to shut us down. We won’t bow to terrorists― especially ones that don’t wear pants.
Director, Kantai Collection
Anime for the Rest of Us
SIR― I am disappointed by your bias in coverage. You have written extensively about Christmas traditions in the anime community (articles here and here), but there is little mention of how non-Christian anime fans are spending their time during the holiday season. As a Jewish anime fan, I will be writing seven articles about Ping Pong whilst eating Chinese food tomorrow.
New York, NY