Man Falls Behind On Anime, Has Nothing To Talk About With Friends

Man Falls Behind

DAYTON, OH – Like many Americans, Drew Moore works long hours; so long, in fact, that he recently found himself unable to watch any anime for two weeks. “I didn’t think it was a big deal,” he told Anime Maru, “I mean, now that everything is on Torr.. err I mean Crunchyroll,  I could just watch them when I finished that big project.”

Little did Drew realize that this event would have cascading ripple effects that would forever alter his social life.

“Suddenly I had to avoid social media,” he said. “My friends all post spoilers and discuss the episodes as they watch them and I didn’t want it ruined. I also noticed that since I mostly discuss anime with my friends, I also couldn’t talk to them when I wasn’t avoiding them on Twitter. It would always become this awkward ballet of trying to talk about a show when someone isn’t exactly sure which parts you’ve seen yet. It was terrible.”

But the situation got worse. “I actually expected this kind of thing to happen,” he continued, “I anticipated a short period of social isolation. But I hadn’t factored in the ripple effect.” According to Drew, it never occurred to him that he would need three times as much anime-watching time to be able to catch up on everything. “I got less busy at work, but not so much so that I could make up two entire weeks,” he says, crestfallen. “I was constantly two weeks behind everyone. I was stuck!”

Drew is now launching a new initiative to help young people avoid his kind of situation. The “Never Miss A Day Foundation” aims to promote staying current with all your shows so you do not become a social outcast. The foundation also intends to lobby congress to legislate a “No Weeb Left Behind Act”, which would require employers and educators to set aside time for weebs to catch up on their shows. Yes, even Triage X.

There is one final bitter irony to this story, though. “With all my time spent on the Never Miss A Day Foundation,” Drew smiles, “I’ve fallen further behind than ever.”

About the author

Based in a one man space station in geosynchronous orbit over Japan, Neontaster is a graduate of Hard Knocks Gakuen with a masters degree in Moeology. He usually has no idea what the hell he is talking about, but is marginally competent at faking it. You can pelt him with rotten digital vegetables on twitter @neontaster