Man Surgically Alters Himself to Resemble CLAMP Characters


CONCORD, NH — Anime connoisseur Mike Styles underwent a controversial surgery last month in order to mimic his favorite anime characters. Influenced by his favorite anime xxxHolic, Styles paid over $70,000 to elongate his limbs and stretch out his face. CLAMP, the artist group responsible for xxxHolic as well as shows like Cardcaptor Sakura, has been known for their distinctive noodly character designs. This type of “CLAMPification surgery” had been theorized, but never been attempted before.

“I didn’t even know if it was possible,” Jonas Phibb, Director of Cosmetic Surgery at St. Catherine’s Medical Center told Anime Maru staff. “Man was not meant to become a bishonen.”

Styles now stands at nine feet tall, his arms and legs permanently extended beyond that of any normal human. Along with the alterations to his body his chin has been molded into a point with a nose lengthening too. Styles is pleased with this outcome.

“I look exactly like Domeki now!” Styles exclaimed, “I’ve had to get used to this new body. I have to duck under doorways, I’m always knocking things over with my arms, and I’ll never be able to win back my champion limbo title.”

Since his operation. several NBA teams have offered him a position — and reportedly he can finally reach the top shelf at any store. Additionally, Styles has become quite popular with the ladies. Dozens of fujoshi of various weight have proposed to Styles, including one Japanese school girl.

CLAMP artist Mokona commented on Styles’ transformation. “As long as people keep pulling this shit, we’ll never finish X.”

About the author

Talking about himself in the third person has never be Morlock's strengths, however it would seem that duty calls for a change in POV. Hobbies include: self loathing, mindlessly consuming japanese media like the weeaboo that he is, and complaining. Mad Bull 34 is still the greatest anime Morlock has seen. For some reason he has a Twitter: @TheMorlock