Studio MAPPA’s 10th anniversary event saw audience being treated to news and trailers of their various favorite works, including the highly anticipated continuation of Attack on Titan and the upcoming anime adaption of Tatsuki Fujimoto’s Chainsaw Man. As MAPPA now owns the rights to both adaptions, CEO Manabu Otsuka was eventually asked the most difficult question: which of the franchise protagonists, Eren Yaeger or Chainsaw Man’s Denji, would win in a honest one-on-one fist-fight?
“I think this is the one question that I was certain someone was going to ask,” Otsuka initially responded with an awkward laugh. “It really is unavoidable, seeing as how we have both works side-by-side here at the event. There was always going to be some sort of a fanbase clash.”
“Now I want to say that I’m thinking really hard about the answer here, but in reality there’s really no question about it. Realistically speaking, I don’t think there’s a way for Eren to live through this fight. I think he would be completely destroyed. Compared to Denji, Eren is honestly like a small baby.”
Otsuka then proceeded to describe a fictional deathmatch between the two protagonists, closely focusing on Denji’s subversive, near metafictional attacks which would all be pointed squarely at Eren’s jaw like a solid man-shaped cruise missile.
“All of Denji’s attacks are there to completely demolish, no question about it. Eren on the other hand is already old. Like, mentally old. Look at his face. You just know he’s seen some shit and it makes him tired. He doesn’t have the same edge anymore. I’m trying to be mature here as it brings me no pleasure to say this, but Denji would paint the walls red with Eren’s goddamn innards.”
When someone from the audience suggested that Eren’s titan form might present a unprecedented challenge, Otsuka got visibly irritated.
“Now look here, kid. You just don’t get it. The fact that you think a titan form can somehow affect the outcome just means you don’t understand the level Denji is currently operating on. You think you know something about insanity but, let’s be real here, you obviously don’t know jack shit. Denji is here to make Eren his little bitch. He’s going to make Eren shit his pants and leak blood from his asshole. They’re going to paint Wall Maria brown with all the excrement that poor boy is about to leak. They’re going to plug the hole in Trost with the sheer amount of diarrhea Denji will kick out of this little revolution LARPing asshole. This fucking genocidal-looking piece of shit.”
While continuing through his unscripted rant, Otsuka, at one point, also presented an image of shirtless Eren as a reference material.
“Many people have called the fact that he’s flexing his abs a ‘chad’ move, but you see, this is all just going trough the meaningless motions. Having an open shirt and changing hairstyles doesn’t mean he’s somehow grown as a person. He’s still the same little poo-poo bitch who spent like ten seasons struggling with daddy issues. By the end of their fight, there will be none of that anymore. Eren’s going to call Denji his new daddy and he’ll grow to like it, or else. If he dares to step out the line, there’s going to be just an endless, motorized pain-train waiting for him. No mercy of any kind. Just pain that’ll blow his tiny child-like mind.”
At this point Otsuka had already begun to run out of time, so he chose to answer a final question from the audience. The question being, naturally, if the fight itself was about to get freaky.
“Absolutely. Absolutely. We’re talking about really awkward, steamy fan-fiction levels of sexual frustration here, all exploding into a festival of toxic naked violence. Denji would dominate Eren both physically and mentally. He’s a man that could take Eren easily to hell and back. He would reduce Eren to a quivering mess of a man, the experience would definitely be near-sexual in nature. There would be a metamorphosis by the end of it too, in a dialectic Hegelian sense, with Denji ultimately being peeled layer by layer, revealing a dominant beast inside with Eren just dead on the ground.”
The event continued afterwards without further interruptions as Otsuka, for reason or another, wasn’t allowed to answer any additional questions. Despite this short peek into the future of MAPPA, only time will ultimately tell which of the two franchises comes on top when the two giants clash.