Missed the WWDC 2017 Keynote? Here’s what you need to know


In the World Wide Developers Conference (WWDC) 2017, otaku around the world felt a close kinship with the $750 billion tech giant.

  • Apple revealed its clear support for anime and endorsement of Crunchyroll, prompting its stock to soar due to the support of investment banker closet weebs.
  • Apple also made some headway into realizing Sword Art Online through ARKit, consequently dropping the company’s stock price after many of the closet weebs quickly abruptly sold their shares.
  • The iMac received a significant upgrade, with more CPU and GPU computing power than ever before, specifically targeting graphics. General analysts say that this is Apple’s attempt to bankrupt the Japanese animation industry into producing CGI-only anime, but Anime Maru analysts concluded after much research that this is a benign attempt improve animation labor standards at the cost of several months’ salary and living expenses.
  • Decision to include a crunchy roll sushi in the midst of vastly inferior live action based channels only makes anime’s greatness stand out more.

About the author

Part time hibernator and professional computer starer. She likes the three minutes you have to wait after you pour water in a ramen cup and hates cute anime mascot creatures. Twitter: @Dango_Ramen