Muse’s Japan Tour Goes Horribly Wrong


TOKYO, Japan — English rock band Muse began their tour dates in Japan earlier this week to promote their latest album Drones. Their first concert took place at the Akihabara Ongakukan in Tokyo, but to their surprise their opening concert was met with open hostility from the crowd gathered to see the band.

“We’re used to screaming fans,” lead vocalist Matthew Bellamy told reporters, “but usually the screaming isn’t quite so angry. It was all so sudden; one minute the crowd seems pumped and is chanting “Muse, Muse” and then as soon as we come out on stage they’re tossing glow sticks at us and yelling furiously. We had no idea what they were actually saying, we just knew they were mad about something.”

After the band was pulled backstage for their safety, organizers that they had been expecting the idol group μ’s, and had been promoting the concert with that band’s name and image. Hoping to appease the crowd and fulfill their contract, Muse returned to stage and performed an impromptu version of “Mogyutto ‘Love’ de Sekkin Chuu.” Drummer Dominic Howard even tried to appeal to the crowd with his new catchphrase “Dominico Nico Ni,” but this merely led to worsened riots.

“It really was a horrifying experience,” Matthew told our reporters. “We figured our music would speak for itself, but I guess that wasn’t enough, we really should have scheduled an anime appearance before coming here so people would know our backstories ahead of time.”

“On the bright side though, it did give me inspiration for a single on our next album, ‘Burn Down My Love.’”

About the author

Bob_Squob is neither a Bob nor a Squob, but they’re both common enough names to form an alias. After roaming the earth for 10,000 years with no purpose, he came upon Anime Maru, and thought to himself, “It is good. I will make my home here.” He currently resides in the darkness for fear that his taste in anime will be discovered and exploited as a weakness. Twitter: @Bob_Squob