‘My Coronavirus Can’t Be This Cute’ Anime Added to Summer Schedule

TOKYO, Japan — A press release has been sent to major anime news outlets revealing that AIC will be producing the series My Coronavirus Can’t Be This Cute for the summer anime season; planned also to be simulcast by Funimation. The anime will feature an otaku sick with COVID-19 who sees the disease as a klutzy but cute and clingy little sister-like love interest.

“We’ve had so much bad news related to coronavirus that it has started to get depressing. We thought, who can save us from this situation?” said AIC CEO Tōru Miura. “And we figured out how to fix it. Make an anime with coronavirus as a cute anime girl! Then everyone will be happy and want to spend their time with COVID-tan!”

“EVERYBODY is talking about COVID19,” said Funimation General Manager Colin Decker. “So we can both capitalize on that general interest and move the focus away from being sick towards buying adorable anime merchandise instead. You might need to social distance, but you won’t want to put any distance between yourself and the adorable COVID-tan!”

Otaku had varied opinions related to the announcement.

“This damn coronavirus has caused anime to be canceled left and right, I don’t like it at all!” said otaku Sue Dare. “But if it was only causing all this trouble due to it being an adorable klutz but good-hearted bishoujo? Then I would definitely root for COVID-tan!”

“Diseases aren’t cute, not even in Cells at Work,” said Dan Moore. “The only things truly kawaii are little sisters!”

“I’ve been having trouble breathing,” said COVID-infected anime super fan Roger Ruff. “But knowing it is just COVID-tan awkwardly showing her love, I’m looking forward to spending more time alone with her here in quarantine.”

AIC and Funimation released a statement that fans should not take the series as an endorsement of the disease or as advice to change their own COVID-19 related prevention behavior, unless of course it would lead to buying more merchandise of the series.

About the author

G. Smith has seen the opening to the Toei Kanon series more recently and more often than you. His retirement savings is entirely invested in anime dvds, anime cels, and anime statues he stores in the basement. His Uno game could be better. He is on Twitter @gricomet