NASA Discovery Sparks Vigorous Debate Over Which Exoplanet is Best Planet


Astronomers working with the Spritzer Space Telescope have announced this week the discovery of not one, not two — but seven Earthlike planets orbiting a star 40 light-years away from Earth. The announcement has garnered significant excitement for not only the possibility of alien life, but also for the seven totally adorable planets in this exciting star system.

“Usually star systems we find have a few gas giants, maybe an Earthlike, a handful of drawf planets, the token binary planet, and sometimes a mini-Neptune to satisfy the perverted ones,” said Caroline DeMassay, lead researcher at NASA’s Spritzer Space Center. “To have a system with seven Earthlikes? That’s pushing the envelope right there.”

“It truly is an amazing discovery; a huge step in the search for life outside of our world. I am personally a fan of planet D,” Steven Reimer, a researcher at Cambridge University told Anime Maru. “Planet C is moe, but D is my waifu.” However, not all scientists agree with Reimer’s statement.

“Planet E best planet!,” exclaimed a group of scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. “Your planet is shit.”

According to observations, while three of the planets are likely in the star’s “habitable zone”, the inner planets B and C are likely rocky planets that lack an atmosphere. “Only lolicon like B and C, those sick fucks,” commented Andrew Noringen of the University of Copenhagen, a contributor to the study and leading advocate of the “ExG ship”.

Rumors have already surfaced that animation production company Silver Link is in preliminary talks to create a harem system anime about the planets. A poll conducted by Akiba Souken shows that the most popular planets online are B and D, followed by C.

As of press time, some fans became nervous upon learning the name of the exoplanet system: TRAPPIST-1 — though some others became even more excited.

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Editor-in-Chief, CEO, and Fearless Leader of Anime Maru. Expert in Japanese media and pop culture because I run Japanese tabloids blogs through Google Translate. Twitter: @kevo31415