Issue of National Best Girl Up Takes Spotlight Weeks After Election

Hello readers, we are currently posting the top results from our first ever writing contest. We will be posting the top placing entries leading up to the grand prize winner’s post. Today’s entry is by Vestro, and is the first runner-up in the whole contest. Tune in on Friday to see our winning entry!


As the lingering recounts for a handful of races scattered around the country wind down, the long and drawn-out election season has finally come to a close. The big questions have been answered — Republicans have maintained majority control over Congress and Donald Trump will be the next President — but one last unanswered question has moved to the forefront of the national debate: who will be our nation’s Best Girl?

Blocked for years by friction with the Obama administration, the Republican Congress now has a chance to push through a new Best Girl mandate with a newly elected president. During his presidential campaign, Trump received harsh criticism for campaigning on the platform that Kirisaki Chitoge from Nisekoi would be best suited as the true American waifu. He called for heavy tsundere policies during his campaign such as building a wall on the Mexican border, giving more benefits to veterans (but not because we want to or anything), and not returning any of Vladimir Putin’s phone calls. His radical stance alienated him from most of the Republican Party and drew uncertainties as to the success of his campaign.

With Trump winning the Presidency, many have taken the results to mean that Americans perhaps really do have shit taste. Protests have occurred nationwide within the days following the election over angry weebs citizens proclaiming their dissatisfaction. Thousands have taken to the streets in metropolitan areas with protesters holdings up signs with common statements such as “#NotMyWaifu” and “Chitoge a shit”.

“It’s such bullshit,” protester Anthony Moore of Seattle proclaimed angrily while donning a Strike Witches shirt. “I refuse to accept that someone with such shit taste could be capable of leading our country!”

Obama has called for the nation to be accepting of the new administration and to work towards the betterment of the country in the long term.

“We’ve all had a period of bad taste in the past or watch histories we have been ashamed of; it is more important to work together as a nation and come out stronger in the end,” President Obama stated in his weekly address. Obama encountered his own controversy in 2008 when evidence surfaced that he initially gave Elfen Lied a 9/10.

Trump has already begun settling into his new position, stating that he plans to replace the PVC bust of Martin Luther King Jr. placed by Obama in the Oval Office with a floor standing glass cabinet to display figures of his preferred waifu. Some political analysts have speculated that Trump’s push for a National Best Girl may not go as smoothly as expected despite the Republican majority, pointing to past conflicts within the party over the best Love Live. Others doubt that Trump will actually go through with any of the things that he has said in his campaign. Media outlets were quick to point out that tsundere types rarely say what they actually mean and cast doubt on the sincerity of Trump’s past words.

Early reports indicate that besides Chitoge, other front-runners being considered for Best Girl by the Trump administration include Alice Cartelet, Toshinou Kyouko, Ayase Eli, Kirima Sharo, and Megyn Kelly.

About the author

Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.