Op-Ed: Wow, You Guys Really Will Watch Anything We Make


Ishihara Tatsuya
Kyoto Animation

We’re honestly kind of surprised that so many people are watching Myriad Colors Phantom World. We made a terrible generic anime, and worse yet, you all couldn’t get enough. This all started as a stupid bet we made that we could pump out garbage anime with fantastic animation, and everyone would still watch it. We even threw in a scene where the main character accidentally sees a up a girl’s skirt, one of the most generic, overdone scenes in an harem anime, and all of you over-analyzed it to the point where you called it an original and genius work of meta satire. Is there nothing we can’t do?! Hell, we’ll make a full penetration scene and you all will call it the pinnacle of thoughtful satire within anime. Kyoto Animation really is so beloved and can’t be touched by criticism.

Do you all not realize that this anime was a pandering generic harem anime? My god, this is just like when Trigger did Inou Battle wa Nichijou no Naka de and you all thought it was genius satire. You’ll really eat up any sort of shit we come up with. We make their tits flop, we teased a relationship, and you mouthbreathers still hail it as anime of the season. Shit, we actually tried with Hibike! Euphonium, a light novel with poor sales that we made into a successful anime, and all you nerds could talk about was the damn yuri relationship that was clearly never going to happen. We put that in because we know you idiots would go crazy over it. We know how to play you guys like a fiddle.

Anime hasn’t declined you idiots, all of you just have lowered expectations and we learned how to exploit it. Our next project is going to be a big-titted middle-schooler saying “fuck you otakus” for 23 minutes, and I guarantee you will love it and praise it. We’re actually betting on whether our MAL rating will be 8 or 9. Keep it up you idiot weebs, we’re making bank off of shit that took us no effort to make.

About the author

ttchoubs: (pronounced choobs u plebz) Single-handedly responsible for the death of anime, ttchoubs enjoys spending 10% of his time watching Japanese animation and the other 90% denying others' accusations that he does. He has been banned for 3 countries for his taste in best girls. He also enjoys having lukewarm tea parties with his stuffed animal friends and therapist on the weekends.