Fans Eagerly Wait for New Shows to Start Sucking

NAGOYA — Moriyama Takeshi sits alone in front of his computer, the monitor’s light illuminating his unkempt face. He reacts to what he sees on screen with a varying cycle…

Conspiracy Idol Anime ‘Wake Up Sheeple!’ To Air This Fall

OSAKA — Tatsunoko Productions and Ordet jointly announced Wednesday that their new animation project Wake Up Sheeple! has been greenlit. Wake Up Sheeple! is a spinoff of the popular idol anime Wake Up…

New Anime-Themed Beers Ready to Pour This Week

MILWAUKEE, WI — The brewers at the Milwaukee Brewing Company are preparing to ship out the first shipments of two new anime-inspired beers to local liquor stores and taverns. A…

No Game No Life Anime Precipitates Breakthroughs in Game Theory

  CAMBRIDGE, MA — Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have announced new insights into the field of game theory thanks to the currently airing spring anime No Game No…

Scientists Grow First Fully-Formed Test Tube Waifu

OSAKA — After years of failed experiments and frustration, Japanese scientists have developed the world’s first full-grown test tube waifu. “Yui,” the result of the years-long YN Project, is a…

French Academy Begins Search for New Word to Describe Anime Following Akiba Riots

PARIS – Fearing that the word animé is now nothing more than a foreign word describing Japanese animation, the Académie française announced today that to protect the French language a…

Next Ace Attorney 3DS Game to be Set in Heian Era Japan

Japanese gaming magazine Famitsu revealed this week that the next installment of the Ace Attorney franchise will be set in Heian Era Japan, which lasted from 794 to 1185 A.D. The game will…

Investigation Reveals Most Anime Never Actually Air on Japanese TV

KYOTO, Japan — Sources from the Japan Broadcasting Corporation (NHK) confirmed last Sunday that an overwhelming majority of anime each season are never actually aired on television.Though more than thirty…

Japanese ‘Ping Pong the Animation’ Viewers Unfamiliar with Concept of Subtitles

OSAKA — While the critical reception of the new anime Ping Pong the Animation has been generally positive, Tatsunoko Productions has been overwhelmed with fan complaints that they cannot follow the dialogue…

International Idol Dispute Leads to Nuclear War

NEW YORK CITY — Talks at the UN Headquarters today ended in disaster as world leaders clashed over fictional idols. The escalation occurred after North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un…