Sony Announces PS5 Remastered for 2021

Sony revealed today plans for the next iteration of their PlayStation video game consoles. The new console will officially be known as the “PlayStation 5 Remastered” and is planned to…

Op-Ed: Yeah the Election is a Pretty Big Thing, But Have You Seen Uzaki’s Breasts?

Apollo Ticalman“Culture” Enthusiast So yeah, we all know that lately the media has just been talking about the 2020 elections. We all get it. It’s a big deal. This is…

TikToker Hospitalized After Ingesting Paimon Figure

LONG BEACH, CA – A man remains in critical medical condition after consuming a plastic figurine of the character Paimon from the popular game Genshin Impact. Paramedics responded to the…

Anime Fans Recreate Convention Experience by Waiting Hours in Voting Lines

As election day commences throughout the US, deprived anime fans, now having gone the majority of the year without being able to attend a proper convention, are finding ways to…

Otaku Hopes Other People Stuck in Time Loops Having More Exciting Time

LEWISTON, IA — Local anime fan Maria Horn, 20, has discovered that she has been in a time loop for the past several months. With how boring it is for…

Sony in Final Talks to Purchase KissAnime

Sony is reportedly close to finalizing a deal to acquire anime streaming service KissAnime. The streaming site closed its doors in August of this year, despite having a large active…

Trump Administration Contracts Umbrella Corporation to Develop COVID-19 Vaccine

President Trump revealed via a Twitter post earlier today that the Umbrella Corporation would be working to develop a vaccine for the coronavirus. The conglomerate has been a major player…

Otaku Watching ‘Higurashi’ Glad He Doesn’t Have Any Friends to Murder Him

GETTYSBURG, PA — Josh Kennedy, forever alone otaku, announced today on a Reddit thread that he was glad he would never be killed by his friends in a similar way…

Truck-Based Fatalities Quadruple in Japan Due to Anime Fans Looking for Isekai or a Wife

TOKYO, Japan – The first weeks of October have been the deadliest on record with the number of deaths by truck quadrupling, according to an emergency report from the Ministry…

Four Games to Play After You’re Bored With ‘Genshin Impact’

What’s wrong? Resin-gating got you in a sour mood? Tired of speeding through your dailies like a chore? Or did you naively install this Chinese spyware expecting a legitimate RPG…