Funimation Puts Out A Hit On Discotek Media

FLOWER MOUND, TX– Yesterday, a hit list of Discotek employees was leaked on the internet by anonymous sources, apparently posted by Funimation executives in hopes of eliminating their competition. The discovery of…

Miyazaki: “I Created Anime to Solve the Great Desktop Background Shortage of ’84”

“It was like a brutal relentless winter that had no end in sight” said acclaimed director Hayao Miyazaki, in an exclusive interview with Anime Maru. “I was on my Macintosh Personal…

Person Tasked With Creating Idol Profiles Clearly Just Making Shit Up

TOKYO, Japan — Multiple sources claimed earlier this week that the profile data for many of the recent characters in Bandai Namco’s Idolmaster franchise is completely arbitrary. The anonymous Bandai Namco Games…

The Ten Types of Anime Fans

After running several lengthy and exhaustive surveys, the Anime Maru staff has compiled a list of the ten types of anime fans. This is the result of years upon years…

Anime Maru’s Guide to Super Bowl 50

This Sunday, America will sit in front of its television and watch Super Bowl 50. If you’ve been invited to a party, but know nothing about football because you haven’t…

Man Horrified to Learn He Likes ‘Yuru Yuri’

Anime fan Kent Voight came to the horrifying realization today that he actually enjoys the anime Yuru Yuri after watching the entire first season in a single sitting. Kent admitted…

Man Still Pretending to Have Watched ‘Bakemonogatari’

COEUR D’ALENE, ID — Melvin Richardson, a 24-year-old literature student, nods quietly while eating lunch with his friends on the North Idaho University campus. His friends are engaged in a…

MyAnimeList Adds Japanese High School PowerPoints to Database as Legitimate Anime

Debates have sparked in the past week over the definition of anime after MyAnimeList began listing Japanese high schoolers’ PowerPoint presentations in their database of anime. “People argue a lot…

Japanese Snack Companies Accidentally Overlook ‘Dagashi Kashi’ Promotional Marketing

In a surprising announcement earlier this week, representatives from major Japanese consumer food corporations admitted that it never occurred to them to release any Dagashi Kashi-branded merchandise. The Studio Feel show —…