World’s Saddest Prom Happening in High School Otaku’s Basement

Anime Maru is here to bring you live coverage of the hottest party happening tonight, the anime themed prom hosted by otaku high schooler Gavin Campbell within his parent’s basement….

Waifu Divorce Rates on the Rise

    Walla Walla, WA– Recent surveys have noticed an alarming increase in waifu divorce rates among western fans. It seems that even the longest waifu relationships aren’t immune to…

Ninja Slayer Destroys Anime, Trigger’s Revenge Now Complete

TOKYO, Japan — Early last year, scientists confirmed that despite Kill La Kill‘s massive success and critical acclaim, Studio Trigger did not save anime. A year later, Trigger has enacted…

Haruhi Suzumiya Fan Wakes Up From Eight Year Coma

Self-proclaimed Haruhi-ist Timothy Banks awoke this week from a coma he had been in since May 1st, 2007, when he dropped his Haruhi cell-phone strap in the road and was…

Yuki-Chan Anime Already Causing Endless 8 Nostalgia

The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan, the first anime in the Haruhi franchise to not be produced by Kyoto Animation, is already reportedly causing widespread cases of nostalgia for Endless 8…

Super Sonico Figure Tired of Being Objectified

KENOSHA, WI — A Taito-Manufactured Super Sonico Summer Beach Swimsuit Version figure owned by otaku Christopher Logan confessed to reporters that she was fed up with the way his friends have…

Man Claims He’ll Get to Everything on His Watch List Eventually

KISSIMMEE, FL — Authorities are calling it “one of the worst case of watch list hoarding ever seen.” 34-year-old local resident Jason Price lives by himself and began watching anime around 10…

Deep Analysis: IS It Wrong to Try To Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?

I like many fans turn to anime for intellectual stimulation. Anime poses many deep philosophical questions, and I as an intellectual have attempted to answer these questions in my columns….

Your Anime Horoscope

Welcome to Anime Maru’s newest feature, anime horoscopes. Each sign symbolizes different strengths and character. Find your sign below to find out what your anime fortune is. Is today your lucky…

Scientists Warn All Anime Fan Art Will Feature Hestia By 2024

ATLANTA, GA – The CDC’s Task Force on Online Virology (TFOV) has issued an emergency warning in the wake of an unprecedented outbreak of fan art featuring Hestia from the new…