Co-Workers ‘Very Concerned’ About Jeff’s New Car

MADISON, WI — The employees of Vandelay Industries have been thrown into a panic over their coworker’s new car. Jeff Dessler, who has been with the company for over seven years, arrived…

Free! Blu-ray Disc Found in Ted Cruz’s Possession

Shortly after Senator and GOP candidate Ted Cruz condemned the jailing of Kim Davis, Chief of Staff Paul Teller found a blu-ray edition of the popular sports anime Free! in…

Unholy Union Between Man and Waifu Produces Child

LOS ANGELES, CA — The first marriage between a man and a fictional woman has now produced the first half-fictional child. Saru Anegasaki, born September 3rd, emerged from his fictional…

Man Caught Peeping Into High School Claims ‘Slice of Life’ Defense

FAIRFAX, VA — The trial of 57-year-old Gerald Russell, who was arrested earlier this year for lurking within a local high school campus and watching students, started earlier this week. The trial…

Last Episode of Ore Monogatari Reveals Takeo Diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes

Previews for episode 24 of Ore Monogatari have surprised viewers by revealing that the finale centers around Gouda Takeo’s emergency visit to the hospital after a hypoglycemic attack at the…

Nation’s Students Brace for ‘That Person’ in Japanese Class

EUGENE, OR — As summer draws to a close and students are set to return to class next week, a feeling of unease sweeps through the University of Oregon campus….

Living Samurai Found in Block of Ice

OSAKA, Japan — What do K-ON!, The Ashikaga Era, and Sumo have to do with each other? The answer was found on an Osaka beach a few weeks ago after avid beach goers discovered…

Wormhole Provides Terrifying Glimpse of 2116 Winter Anime Season

TOKYO, Japan — After a mysterious electrical storm, a swirling rip in the space-time continuum appeared over downtown Tokyo today, providing residents a terrifying look not only into a hopeless…

Japanese Public Shocked By “Perverted” Anime Content

TOKYO, Japan — In what is quickly developing into a national scandal, Japanese watchdog group Broadcasting Ethics and Program Improvement Organization (BPO) revealed last July that large portions of the content…