Square Enix Revises Marketing for Bravely Default

TOKYO — In response to declining sales of its new title Bravely Default, Square Enix has reevaluated its marketing for the role-playing video game. The move surprised many in the industry,…

Japanese Navy Retroactively Renaming Ships To Avoid Confusion With KanColle

  OKINAWA – The Japanese Navy today announced a comprehensive plan to retroactively rename its vessels, including famous ships from history, to avoid confusing them with the popular online game…

Tensions Flare Over China’s Eldant Empire Claim

BEIJING – Relations between Japan and China were further strained over the latter’s claim of sovereignty over a portion of the newly-discovered Holy Eldant Empire last week. Little is known…

Funimation Seeks New Revenue From Scratch-Off Lottery Tickets

FORT WORTH, TX – Funimation Entertainment, the Flower Mound-based film production company, is turning to an unusual source in its quest to find new revenues: the Texas Lottery. “We’ve been…

Head Of Omurice Fast Food Chain Indicted In Product Placement Scandal

TOKYO – Takakazu Katsushika, the CEO and founder of the Omurice chain of fast food restaurants, has been indicted on charges of bribing studio executive in return for widespread omurice…

Report: Characters in Happiness Charge Precure Named After Strippers

TOKYO – Despite the studio’s efforts to cover up the details of the creative aspects of its scriptwriting process, a report was released this week confirming that the heroines of…

30,000 Elder Tale Players Missing For Months, Nobody Notices

  TOKYO – 30,000 Japanese gamers who installed the 12th expansion pack for the popular Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game Elder Tale have collectively gone missing, a new investigation…

Man Who Tried to Legally Marry Homemade Figures Rebuffed by High Court

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In what anime fans throughout the United States are decrying as a travesty against justice, the California Supreme Court unanimously affirmed an appellate court’s decision to…

Surveyor Corps Prove Useless in Combat against Titans

TROST DISTRICT – According to recent military intelligence, the newly-assigned Surveyor Corps have already sustained heavy losses early into their first mission. The Surveyor Corps are an elite division of…

Houston Texans Lineman Brennan Williams Admits that He Plays Professional Football

HOUSTON, TX – At a local anime club gathering last night, Brennan Williams admitted to fellow attendees that he not only has an interest in football, but he plays professionally…