PETA Initiates ‘Goblin Lives Matter’ Movement

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), an international animal rights group, recently launched its ‘Goblin Lives Matter’ campaign, an activist movement opposing the indiscriminate killing of goblins. The campaign is a response to increased animosity towards the species over the past few months.

PETA advocates a controversial ‘no kill’ policy forbidding the harming of any sentient life regardless of reason. The same principle, it argues, should apply to goblins as well.

On the other hand, many hold that killing goblins is justified due to their harmful relationship with humans. Goblins have a reputation for raiding human settlements, burning them to the ground and capturing the women for use as sex slaves. While well-populated areas are unaffected, many rural communities remain at risk. As a result, many local governments contract hunters in an effort to curb the goblin population. The most famous of these hunters, an enigma simply known as ‘Goblin Slayer’, has even inspired a fantasy light novel series.

Despite evidence that goblins are a direct threat to humanity, PETA remains adamant in its goal to protect all nonhuman creatures.

“A life is a life, no matter who it belongs to,” a PETA spokesperson writes in a Facebook post. “Like humans, goblins are emotional creatures. They have families and care for them. Every year, thousands of goblin children are orphaned or murdered! #goblinlivesmatter”.

PETA is currently organizing a missionary trip into goblin territories to provide relief aid and conduct peace efforts. The operation hopes to establish a friendly liaison between the human and goblin races. Despite numerous warnings from authorities, PETA is confident that the expedition will go smoothly.

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