Police Bust Underground Mushi Smuggling Operation


ALBUQUERQUE, NM — Police raided a once-abandoned warehouse and busted the largest mushi smuggling operation in the country, arresting nearly 100 alleged gang members and confiscating nearly $40 million of mushi paraphernalia.

“This gang had been operating in our state for far too long,” said Albuquerque Police Chief Gorden Eden Jr. “Through the hard work of police departments across several states — including our special Mushishi section — we were able to track down and put a stop to this heinous operation.”

The gang — a wing of La Eme, the Mexican Mafia — cultivated and sold a special type of mushi that makes its way through the human body until it settles in the nervous system and sends spasms of pleasure throughout the body. Repeated exposure to this particular mushi leads to a breakdown of the brain, whereupon the mushi gains control of the flesh.

“Like most mushi, it is not operating independently. It just does what it does,” said the police department’s top Mushishi, who declined to give a name. “The truth is, really, that even this operation won’t do much in the long run. The mushi have been taken off the streets, but they’ll find their way around eventually. They always do. All we can do is be prepared for the inevitable.”

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Emerging from the ultraviolent urban sprawl of the 1980s, Shinmaru is the Angel Cop, the 34th Mad Bull, the Wing of Garzey, and The Almighty King of the Street. His taste is total trash. Twitter: @Shinmaru