Producers Finally Give Up on Live Action Akira


HOLLYWOOD, TX– 13 years after acquiring the license, Warner Brothers has finally given up on making a live action Akira movie. Although there are many contributing factors for this, Warner Bros. have stated internet commenters as the main reason why the project’s been canceled.

As of cancellation, Akira was planned with Josh Peck as Kaneda, Justin Chatwin as Tetsuo, and Masi Oka as Short Round — the only known Asian character in the film.

“We now realize that no one really wanted this.” Brad Perry, a Warner Bros. CEO, released a statement earlier this week. “I mean the only people that really liked Akira were weeaboos, so they’re obviously not going to be interested in anything American. Really why bother when Harrypartridge and Akira-Project already did a better job than we would have?”

While internet forurms have been celebrating this small victory, hoping for similar results with Dreamworks’s Ghost in the Shell and Disney’s Appleseed. Though the cancellation of Akira has been a major victory for weeaboo puritans, there is still a long battle ahead.

Others have been less happy to see the project go down the tubes.

“We just wanted to faithfully adapt one of our favorite movies, it’s disappointing to see people say that we’re only cash hungry producers. We’re people too,” one of Akira’s hundred faceless producers lamented. He went on to say, “We actually gave up on the movie a while ago, we’ve been jerking people around for years now.”

About the author

Talking about himself in the third person has never be Morlock's strengths, however it would seem that duty calls for a change in POV. Hobbies include: self loathing, mindlessly consuming japanese media like the weeaboo that he is, and complaining. Mad Bull 34 is still the greatest anime Morlock has seen. For some reason he has a Twitter: @TheMorlock