Researchers Remain Optimistic as Search For Alternate Universes Intensifies


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BATAVIA, IL –The United States Department of Energy released a statement this afternoon claiming that researchers are still hopeful about locating an “isekai” — also known as an alternate world — even as the search enters its sixth year without results.

Speaking to reporters at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory, Dr. Albert Porchowsky insisted that the latest models of quantum mechanics predicts the existence of alternate worlds like those depicted in Re: Zero and Konosubarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo!

“Our top researchers feel that finding a quantum wormhole to an isekai is only a matter of time,” Porchowsky claims.

Isekai research has been growing in popularity since late 2008 when a Japanese team, inspired by Inuyasha, began studies into the existence of alternate universes as a response to the Global Financial Crisis. Since then, academic and government institutions around the world have invested heavily in particle research in hopes of opening a portal to a fantasy land filled with easy-to-recognize RPG tropes.

Research has been buoyed by strong government from the past two presidential administrations. Secretary of Defense James Mattis, who is a big fan of Gate: Jieitai Kanochi nite, Kaku Tatakaeri.

So far, no physical evidence of any isekai has been found. Progress has been slow due to the technical complexity of the project, along with a lack of communication between the Department of Energy and foreign research groups who are tackling the same problem.

“We’re almost certain that Japan has given up and is constructing their own Isekai using locations from Sword Art Online as a template” Porchowsky said. “We also think that the Europeans have had results with their own quantum investigations, but they aren’t talking to us.”

Anime Maru reached out to the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) for comment and received an automated response asking us to stop pestering them with Steins;Gate questions.

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