Respectable Man Prefers Vanilla Tag

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FAYETTEVILLE, NC – Brandon Wood, 24, took to Twitter earlier today to declare his personal preference for “vanilla” tagged hentai. A self-proclaimed connoisseur of adult oriented animations, Wood stated that he enjoyed the generally positive nature and consistency of vanilla videos.

“A lot of people unfairly associate vanilla with being something that is bland and uninteresting, but it’s actually a very refined and smooth flavor,” said Wood. “When you have a medium full of possibilities able to be twisted to the most extreme limits of imagination, getting something conventional actually ends up being rather refreshing.”

The statement received praise from Wood’s peers who concurred with his assessment of the category. Neighbors and community members alike seemed to regard Wood as a positive individual.

“He’s always been a good guy so it’s a relief to find out that his preferences reflect that,” commented Wood’s longtime friend under the username BokuNoPiccolo. “I don’t know what I would have done if I found out he was deep into vore or something.”

“Oh, Brandon is such a helpful young man. He offers to help with my yard work all the time,” Wood’s retired neighbor, David McConnell, told our correspondent. “I’m not sure what his favorite flavor of ice cream has to do with anything though.”

Despite no one asking for further details, Wood elaborated on how he was able to more closely follow the plot without distractions along the way, even providing a few suggestions from his last browsing session.

Wood looking for the kind of conclusion to To Love Ru that the official series was never able to provide. (Source: DLsite.com)

“You want to look for categories like healing or happy,” Wood added. “Things like threesome? No thanks. No healthy relationship ever needed the assistance of a third party, unless of course it was for instating the legally binding contract of marriage. And don’t even get me started on double penetration.”

When questioned why his internet history on DLsite included searches for “NTR”, “bondage”, and “interspecies”, specifically something called “Insect Girls” (sources report that this is indeed a real thing), Wood claimed that he was uncertain how they got there and that his roommate must have used his computer while he wasn’t looking, probably even entering promo code “animemaru” during registration to save 15% in the process.

“I wouldn’t blame him if he did,” Wood added, giving a thumbs up. “Being able to get 15% off on any order, with thousands of available products to choose from, really is too good of an offer to pass up.”

About the author

Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.