Royal Baby Undergoes Ancient Mecha Bonding Ceremony

Princess Charlotte undergoing the bonding ceremony in the sacred cave

Princess Charlotte undergoing the bonding ceremony in the sacred cave

LONDON, England – Buckingham Palace announced today that newly-born Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana has already undergone the ancient rite of the Eternal Thread. This ceremony, which has existed for centuries, allows those with royal blood to command the mysterious giant robots that lie deep under the palace itself. Officials at the Royal Mecha Corps said that this was an especially early bonding, leading to speculation in some circles that the young princess could be the one foretold in the Apocalypse Prophecy. However, analysts urge caution and advised against speculation.

Meanwhile, young Prince George, who will turn 2 in July, is expected to start early anti-alien missions next year. Sources who wished to remain unnamed have said that the harem selection committee is already combing through possible applications, and that if all goes well, he could actually be a decent MC in about 6 or 7 years – well ahead of schedule.

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Based in a one man space station in geosynchronous orbit over Japan, Neontaster is a graduate of Hard Knocks Gakuen with a masters degree in Moeology. He usually has no idea what the hell he is talking about, but is marginally competent at faking it. You can pelt him with rotten digital vegetables on twitter @neontaster