So Close Yet So Far: Canada One Letter Off From Legalizing Weeb(s)

VANCOUVER, Canada – Thousands of despondent Canadian anime fans have taken to social media over the last weeks in protest of the Canadian government’s historic legalization of marijuana.

Canada became the second country in the world to legalize the recreational use of marijuana earlier this month. Ironically, it also has some of the most stringent anti-anime laws in the whole world, falling only behind Sudan, Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Australia, where anime possession is still considered a felony.

Despite growing advocates of anime legalization, there are still numerous organization in favor of keeping it away from Canada. Critics fear the potentially disastrous consequences for wider society if anime were to be decriminalized. Buddhist Ex-pats Behind Banning Oriental Programming (known as BEBOP) cite numerous studies that have been undertaken in Uruguay, the first nation to legalize anime in 2013.

“Social suicide rates in Uruguay have been climbing year on year since 2013, and hundreds of thousands of workers have lost their jobs after spending all night binging fansubs,” explains BEBOP founder Eleanor Lemieux. “That is not a future I want for Canada, and certainly not a future I want for my children.”

“If they get so much as a whiff of something wapanese, I am going to disown them.”

Proponents for anime legalization claims that the caricature of anime turning people into slothlike recluses who never leave their room and behave strangely in public is largely inaccurate and outdated. When presented with the myriad anime characters who are hikkikomori or NEETs, the anime legalization proponent we interviewed fell silent and calmly lit a blunt.

The debate will likely continue for some time to come, though some companies have already found some loopholes. The extremely underrated Thunderbolt Fantasy is enjoying a second installment this season, following its huge growth in Canada. Due to the show having anime styling, but remaining heavily reliant on Chinese mythology and utilizing the medium of Taiwanese glove-puppetry, it is one of the seasonal “anime”, still legal to view and distribute in Canada.

Legal experts have also noted that RWBY is not anime, and therefore also legal to watch in Canada, not that anyone would want to.

About the author

Due to anime currently being classed as a schedule 8 narcotic, Heatfist currently writes for Anime Maru through a series hastily cobbled together VB tins and harmless upper middle class racism, broadcasting from a hidden bunker, located deep in the Australian outback. Communicates solely through sardonicism and second hand banter stolen from early 2000’s AMV’s.