‘Squid Game’ Extended Universe to Add ‘Squid Girl’

Netflix along with the Squid Game/Olympics Committee today announced that Squid Girl is being added to the Squid Game extended universe, according to a message on a business card you received from a guy who slapped you in the face several dozen times earlier today.

Squid Game has been very successful so far, but we think we can raise it to an all new level by adding anime into the mix,” said Netflix president Reed Hastings. “And a live action anime adaptation has never failed us before, financially or creatively.”

“We’ve heard complaints that there are not enough waifus or lolis in the series from people with anime avatars on Twitter,” said the public relations officer for the Squid Game/Olympics Committee. “We want to placate them by adding Squid Girl so they don’t start focusing on how we stole most of our ideas from Kaiji.”

We talked to Squid Girl’s friends and colleagues on the news.

“Lemon Beach House used to be a profitable business until she brought her antics here,” said Lemon Beach House co-manager Eiko Aizawa. “All of her accidents here have run up quite the debt. I don’t even know how she will be able to pay it off. She hasn’t even compensated us for that hole in the wall she made.”

“Squid Girl has such a can-do attitude and an optimistic view on life,” said manager Chizuru Aizawa. “Unfortunately that has led her to fall prey to many scam artists claiming they will help her world domination plan. It is a shame this squid game thing is her only way out.”

A self-professed economist on Twitter gave his analysis of the situation.

“Today’s ditzy anime leads don’t have the advantages of previous generations in terms of real wages and the ability to avoid taking on debt,” said Twitter user DrJohnMaynardKeyAnime. “Today, being kawaii is just not enough to make a living wage.”

We reached out to anime fans on Netflix about the announcement and the collective response we got was “Who?”

About the author

G. Smith has seen the opening to the Toei Kanon series more recently and more often than you. His retirement savings is entirely invested in anime dvds, anime cels, and anime statues he stores in the basement. His Uno game could be better. He is on Twitter @gricomet