UTICA, NY — Thoroughly out of any other ideas, local high school student David Campbell, 17, has discreetly booted up the mobile game Fate/Grand Order while taking the AP World History exam online earlier today.
Campbell’s desperate measure is in response to a free response question asking him to develop an argument that evaluates the extent and reason for the rise in military conflicts in Iron Age compared to the Bronze Age.
Having neglected his studies at home during the COVID-19 pandemic, Campbell was unfamiliar with the concept that the development of larger and more organized political entities (i.e. states) leads to more expansive, prominent, and well-documented conflicts between such entities (wars). Instead, Campbell claimed that people fight wars because death is a part of human nature, and even life itself is destined to eventually die.
Campbell was unfamiliar with pre-Achaemenid Mesopotamian civilizations, an obvious example to focus the essay on for its periodization in both the Bronze and Iron Ages. However, Campbell covertly consulted the “Singularity VII: Babylonia” arc in Fate/Grand Order and described the open singularity devastating the population of Uruk as an example of political aggression in the Iron Age.
In a remarkable thesis, Campbell claimed that the development of war as a sociopolitical construct was not caused by the development of state politics, technology, or trade, but by interference the Chaldea Security Organization.
According to AP grader Caroline Frisk, Campbell’s essay will likely not score well. “Putting aside the fact that consulting a mobile game is against AP test policy,” Frisk told Anime Maru,”this essay about Babylonia makes no mention of Quetzalcoatl or even Merlin.”
“Did they even read this whole story or did they skip it like everyone else?”