TOKYO, Japan – Sources report that local student Yuji Aono was on the brink of being suspended from Masaki High School for a series of inappropriate behaviors with other students when his teacher, Kei Fujisawa, was remind that the school exists within a harem school comedy. At which point all charges were dropped and Aono was advised to return to work at his class’s booth at the culture fair.
“Yuji had a real laundry list of lecherous behaviors he had engaged in at school, all of which he kept saying were ‘accidents’,” reported Fujisawa. “I really thought he was just lying about them being accidental, but after his fifth instance of stumbling into the girls locker room I realized he was just an unfortunate harem protagonist caught up in a bunch of wacky high jinks.”
Students mentioned their own experiences at the high school to be stranger than they had expected them to be. Many reported they often saw students “accidentally” kissing in the halls, constant collisions between students on stairways, and noticing that classrooms, such as Aono’s, were mysteriously stocked with a large proportion of cute girls.
“I don’t understand how they decide the class makeup here,” said Masaki High School student Haruna Yuusaki. “Every class I’ve been in has like a 6 to 1 female to male ratio. Although I’ve heard other classes in the school have the opposite ratio. How does that make sense?”
Students also complained about the maintenance of the school’s infrastructure and how the constant odd situations were distracting from their education.
“I don’t understand why there are so many holes in the wall next to the changing room. Why can’t they be fixed?” asked student Yozora Shiguma. “Half of gym class is spent punching male students through walls or hitting them with comically large fans. So little time for learning.”
Aono expressed his relief with avoiding the suspension and didn’t seem too concerned with the issues reported by his fellow peers.
“I am glad the school is willing to overlook my many mistakes er… accidental behaviors,” said Aono. “I’m looking forward to our next monthly class trip to a hot spring!”