Tensions Flare Over China’s Eldant Empire Claim


BEIJING – Relations between Japan and China were further strained over the latter’s claim of sovereignty over a portion of the newly-discovered Holy Eldant Empire last week. Little is known about the magical realm ruled by young princess Petralka III, but that did not stop Beijing from risking potential action by Japan and the United States.

“As it is not known to be on Earth, we do not recognize the Eldant government,” a senior Chinese government official said on Wednesday. “This is nothing more than claiming territory that has been claimed by no other government.”

“They are playing a game of semantics,” Secretary of State John Kerry said at a Thursday press briefing. “As the Eldant Empire can be accessed via Japan, it’s should be treated like any other sovereign nation.”

As for how the people of the Eldant Empire feel about this geopolitical crisis, there are pressing concerns about imports from Japan.

“The latest volume of Attack on Titan is out next week, and many of my friends would like to be able to read it as soon as possible,” said one man who claimed to be 11 years old of the popular Japanese comic. “I just hope that [Japanese Cultural Ambassador] Shin’ichi [Kanō] will be able to read it to us soon.”

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A once-promising journalist who now sells his work at the highest price. As you can tell, the price isn't very high. Twitter: @emperorj