Thousands of Copies of ‘Yuri on Ice’ Pre-Ordered in Mike Pence’s Name


The election may be over, but the controversy surrounding it has hardly given us news organizations time to relax. While most of the media attention has been on President-Elect Donald Trump, drama surrounding former Indiana Governor and Vice President-Elect Mike Pence has stirred, namely regarding Pence’s campaign rhetoric and previous statements regarding professional figure skaters.

Pence has long held the belief that the American public “should oppose any effort to recognize [any figure skater] as an [athlete]”, and that figure skaters should not be allowed to openly show their figuresexuality in public. Pence has even gone so far as to say that figure skaters should receive conversion therapy to be regular citizens working at a roller rink — a place Pence thinks people still go to.

Officials at US Figure Skating, the national governing body for figure skating, were understandably upset by Pence’s remarks. However, the community most outraged — as per usual with any news — were the otaku, particularly fans of this season’s Yuri!!! on Ice.

The anime is about a pro figure skater, Yuuri Katsuki, who struggles with his own figuresexuality after a string of losses until he meets his idol and eventual coach Victor Nikiforov. With Victor, Yuuri learns to be open about his figuresexuality and publicly shares his figuresexuality with Victor. They also have gay sex.

In an act of protest against Pence’s disregard of the status of figure skating as a genuine sport, fans of the show have been pre-ordering copies of the Blu-Rays in Mike Pence’s name. When the first volume of the Blu-Ray is released on December 30th, it is estimated that Pence’s office at 200 W. Washington St., Room 206, Indianapolis, IN 46204 will receive several hundred or possibly thousands of copies of Yuri!!! on Ice. Some fans, however, are planning to wait for Funimation’s English release where it is rumored Josh Grelle, the dubbed voice of Yuuri Katsuki, will come out as figuresexual in a special feature on the disk.

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Having been sentenced on 3 separate occasions to commit honorable sudoku after various incidents involving lava lamps and body pillows, Steve sought sanctum against the legions of radical Haruhiists he'd enraged. He fled to a lesser-known corner of our solar system where he happened to find some free wifi and an artisan bakery that appealed to his hipster tastes.