Truck-Based Fatalities Quadruple in Japan Due to Anime Fans Looking for Isekai or a Wife

TOKYO, Japan – The first weeks of October have been the deadliest on record with the number of deaths by truck quadrupling, according to an emergency report from the Ministry of Health, Labour, and Welfare released to Japanese media and top anime news outlets. The reason given for the increase is the continued popularity of isekai and the new TONIKAWA series.

“The tragic and pointless death of otaku by trucks has been on the increase due to the overwhelming amount of isekai in recent anime seasons,” said Minister of Health, Labour, and Welfare Tamura Norihisa. “And now with TONIKAWA suggesting getting hit by a truck might get you a cute wife, I fear the otaku population might be endangered.”

Those on Twitter had varying opinions.

“I don’t believe it for a second,” said doubting otaku Ruri Jinnai. “I’m sure that if we just believe in ourselves our friend Truck-kun will give us the wife we deserve. Ganbatte!”

“Isekai is played out,” said anime fan RefriedZeroFan, expressing an original thought. “But getting an actual wife? That is the kind of thing that can get me off the couch and into the street!”

Anime Maru talked to a survivor of a recent truck-based accident in his hospital bed for perspective.

“This anime world has such an antiseptic, hospital feel to it. It’s boring. My body feels completely different, but not in the way I wanted,” said Satoshi Hoshi. “Wait. Am I in hell? Am I going to have to become the wife of some fellow idiotic otaku?”

Major trucking companies in Japan have announced that to combat this problem they will be adding body pillows to the front of trucks to help cushion the impact. Critics warn that the strategy may just end up increasing the problem.

About the author

G. Smith has seen the opening to the Toei Kanon series more recently and more often than you. His retirement savings is entirely invested in anime dvds, anime cels, and anime statues he stores in the basement. His Uno game could be better. He is on Twitter @gricomet