U.S. Border Patrol Conducts Testing with 3D Maneuver Gear

United States Border Patrol agents have begun conducting training exercises this week with experimental military prototype equipment known as “Three-Dimensional Maneuver Gear”.

Developed by Jaeger Prazision Werke GmbH, a private tech contractor based in Germany, the 3D Maneuver Gear is specially designed for soldiers defending walled fortifications, such as the barrier which partially covers the border between the United States and Mexico.

While how exactly the Maneuver Gear functions is classified information, it is said to supposedly use gas-powered grappling hooks to grant its wearer enhanced mobility and unique combat abilities.

The prototype is the result of a multi-billion dollar program to bolster security along the U.S.-Mexican border and reduce rates of illegal immigration – one of the primary goals of the current administration. However, some have been critical of the results from early trial periods, casting doubt over prospects for the project.

“The 3D Maneuver Gear has proven ineffective in every exercise conducted so far,” reported one Border Patrol commanding officer. “In most cases, both security and combat ability fell by more than half.”

“It honestly feels like something out of a comic book,” stated another agent participating in the trial runs. “It’s incredibly unwieldy. Unless you’re aiming for something incredibly large, I don’t see how it would work.”

Engineers behind the project cite the environment as the primary factor in the device’s lackluster performance. The Maneuver Gear, they claim, performs best in heavily wooded or dense urban areas where the grapple system can be fully utilized. In contrast, most of the U.S.-Mexican border is arid desert.

According to project lead Dr. Levi Ackhurman, there was also some miscommunication regarding the overall direction of the program.

“When I read ‘walled fortification against considerable threats’, I expected something more… substantial in size. Like, say, giant monsters?” Ackhurman explained. “I did not expect the ‘threat’ to be unarmed civilians.”

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