LOS ANGELES, CA — The first marriage between a man and a fictional woman has now produced the first half-fictional child. Saru Anegasaki, born September 3rd, emerged from his fictional mother’s womb on the 6 year anniversary of Love Plus, the game from which she originated.
Since the announcement of their marriage, experts have claimed that the conception of a child would be impossible since that aforementioned fictional womb did not actually exist in the real world.
Saru’s father, a man who goes by the pseudonym SAL9000, told reporters, “I knew my darling Nene was going into labor when, during my 342nd replay of New LovePlus+ my 3DS began to fail. No matter how much I charged it, it still showed the red light. I knew there was only one thing to do.”
That’s when SAL9000 dusted off his old copy of Trauma Center and stuck it in his 3DS. SAL9000 reportedly played a marathon session through the game until his 3DS ran out of power. Attending physician Derek Stiles assured SAL9000 that this was a good sign and that his wife simply needed to rest.
“I honestly have no idea what’s going on anymore,” Dr. Arthur Stevens of Cedars Sinai Medical Center told Anime Maru when asked about the case.
Despite the unusual circumstances surrounding the case, SAL9000 has not been comfortable with all the attention he received.
“My love for my son is no less than that of his mother, and any insinuation that he is either a figment of my diseased and tremendously lonely brain, or a horrible half formed monstrosity with imaginary skin, is both unwelcome and personally offensive!,” the man stated to assembled media.
He went on to tell us that if we continued to harass him he would see to it that we had words with his lawyer, one P. Wright.