TOKYO, Japan — After a mysterious electrical storm, a swirling rip in the space-time continuum appeared over downtown Tokyo today, providing residents a terrifying look not only into a hopeless future of the year 2116 in which humanity lies enslaved by our own robotic creations, but also what anime our great great great grandchildren will be watching when they’re not being forced to build massive energy extraction devices using only their bare hands.
While most of human society in 2116 has been restructured around providing fuel and materials for the metallic monsters which have dominated Earth since the Great Revolution of 2056, the anime industry has survived mostly intact; most people working in the field have not noticed significant changes in their work or pay despite most industry higher-ups having been replaced by harrowing mechanical soldiers decades ago.
“Back in the 2010’s, animators made less then a few hundred yen an hour had to work multiple jobs just to get by,” one Toei Animation employee tells Anime Maru. “But now, the machines take care of everything up to and including the daily nutrition supplements that are injected directly into our spines! Its really pretty great, honestly.”
Despite unchanging conditions in the industry itself, new trends dominate the air waves. Industry analysts suggest that anime glorifying robots will take up roughly 99.5% of all television programming by 2116, animated or otherwise. The sole non-robotic themed broadcast anime remaining will be the 150th season of pirate adventure manga One Piece. While original anime will consist primarily of programs with such unsettling titles as My Robotic Overlord Cannot Be This Brutally Efficient, The Incurable Disease Called Flesh, and My Little Sister was Abducted and Replaced by a Sentient Kill Drone?!, all of which, according to accounts gathered by Anime Maru reporters from those living in the awful world of the 22nd century, are said to be quite good.
“Well, I’m actually utterly terrified that everything we do in the here and now is completely useless in the face of a future ruled by unfeeling machines,” said one young man when asked about the swirling window into mankind’s dark future. “But I’m really glad that anime still exists despite all of that. That should really keep our descendants busy when their not being whipped while mining for valuable minerals deep beneath the Earth’s surface and I mean, no matter how hopeless some of these shows make life sound, at least there isn’t any more moe crap on TV, ya know?”
At press time, an angry mob inspired by these mind-shattering visions of a hellish tomorrow had rallied around an effort to burn down Akihabara upon noticing that the final Evangelion movie still hadn’t been released.