Scientists Find That Running like Naruto Actually Faster

Naruto Run

 

In an incredibly disheartening study released today, researchers at the university of Michigan found that extending one’s arms backwards while running actually increase increase the speed at which you run. The researchers’ findings are causing a huge stir among both anime fans and professional athletes alike. Reports have been coming in that 3 NFL teams, 2 MLB teams, and 14,000 weebs have already begun implementing this technique into their training programs. Some, however, still have reservations about this new style. We’ve gathered a small sample of reactions to this stunning revelation:

Will I use this style of running? Um…well… you know how these things are. there might be a counter study done. I hope there will be. Fuck, I’ll fund it myself. Yeah, um…will this help me win? Sure. But will I do it? Well I mean… have you seen how it looks? I want to take gold, but I don’t want people thinking I’m a fucking filthy weeb virgin.

~An Olympic Athlete

Yeah, uh, no. This is disgusting. I want to win, but not at the sake of my dignity.

~A professional marathon runner

Dude fuck yeah I always knew it! Now maybe the kids at school won’t beat me up anymore! Well maybe…

~a filthy weeb

The researchers ended their announcement stating they have another study almost finished that seems to prove that grunting and yelling Japanese phrases directly increases one’s running speed and agility.

About the author

ttchoubs: (pronounced choobs u plebz) Single-handedly responsible for the death of anime, ttchoubs enjoys spending 10% of his time watching Japanese animation and the other 90% denying others' accusations that he does. He has been banned for 3 countries for his taste in best girls. He also enjoys having lukewarm tea parties with his stuffed animal friends and therapist on the weekends.