Crunchyroll Anime Awards Adds Category “Best Anime Whose Inclusion Will Get You to Shut the Fuck Up”

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The voting period for the third annual Crunchyroll Anime Awards ended recently, and as expected the choice of nominees drew criticism from various parts of the anime community. In response to complaints over the exclusion of shows such as Goblin Slayer and Maquia: When the Promised Flower Blooms, Crunchyroll announced earlier today the addition of a new category.

The Best Anime Whose Inclusion Will Get You to Shut the Fuck Up recognizes all the anime that people somewhere on the planet apparently enjoyed, and every anime that aired in 2018 has subsequently been nominated.

“There you go — now Overlord III, Goblin Slayer, Toji no Miko, Slow Start, and whatever other garbage that you watched last year and might have enjoyed has been officially nominated for an anime award,” announced Crunchyroll spokesperson Indira Malhorta. “In the end, you’re right. Our judges don’t know anything and we should make sure to cater to your personal taste in anime.”

“Never mind Goblin Slayer was a narrative mess with animation errors; it was popular and edgy, what do we know?”

The reaction from the community has generally been positive. Fans are pleased that Crunchyroll has finally mastered the most basic and fundamental element of awards shows: to satisfy 100% of the population — a goal that the Academy Awards achieves every year.

“About time those idiots at Crunchyroll recognized good anime,” Braden Smith, who does not have a Crunchyroll account and pirated all 4 of the anime he watched in 2018, told Anime Maru. “Sometimes I wonder if those guys even watch anime.”

At press time, an overwhelming majority of fans expressed satisfaction at the new state of Crunchyroll Anime Awards nominees, and plan to go on with their lives and not bother watching the awards ceremony anyway.

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Editor-in-Chief, CEO, and Fearless Leader of Anime Maru. He was trained by the North Korean People's Institute of Journalism and Media. kevo follows voice actresses on Twitter and pretends to understand their Japanese tweets. Twitter: @kevo31415